
TSDENISON «cCOMP/avIY 
PUBIISHBRS CHICAGO 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free. 
Price 15c each. Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs,' Freshman, 3 

acts, 2^ Ill's (2Sc) 8 8 

After the Game, 2- acts, 1]4 

hrs (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(2Sc) 4 4 

American Hustler, 4 acts, 2yi 

hrs .(25c) 7 4 

Arabian Nights, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 4 5 
As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

21/2 hrs (25c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (2Sc) 6 14 

Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) : 8 4 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2J4 

hrs .' (2Sc) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(2Sc) 7 4 

Burns Rebellion, 1 hr (2Sc) 8 5 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

College Town, 3 acts, 2}i 

hrs (25c) 9 8 

Corner Drug Store, 1 hr. 

(25c) 17 14 

Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs.. 7 4 
Daughter of the Desert, 4 

acts, 214 hrs (2Sc) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2^/4 

hrs v2Sc) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (25c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr. . . . (2Sc) 10 
Enchanted Wood, 1J4 h.(35c).Optnl. 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1 yi hrs. 

(2Sc) 7 6 

Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

Fascinators, 40 min (25c) 13 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

1% hrs (25c) 9 14 

IJeiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (23c) 12 

Honor of a Cowboy, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs. ..'. (25c) 13 4 

Indian Davs, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2;4 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs. . (25c) 5 4 
Jayville Junction, IVa hrs. (25c) 14 17 
Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (25c) 6 12 

Lexington, 4 acts, 2J4 h..(2Sc) 9 4 



Light Brigade, 40 min (25c) 10 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Lodge of Kye Tyes^^ 1 hr.(2Sc)13 
Lonelyville Social Club, 3 acts, 

lYi hrs (2Sc) 10 

Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 ^ 

hrs (25c) 5 2 

Man from Nevada, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs (25c) 9 5 

Mirandy's Minstrels (25c) Optnl. 

New Woman, 3 acts, 1 hr.... 3 6 

Old Maid's Club, l^A hrs. (25c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

1^ hrs (25c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, -4 acts, 

21/^ hrs (25c) 10 4 

Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 
Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2;^ hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c) 10 12 

School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1^ hrs. 6 5 

Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 

Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 2% h. 8 3 
Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 

Third Degree, 40 min (25c) 12 

Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Tony, The Convict, 5 acts, 21^ 

hrs (?Sc) 7 4 

Topp's T^wins, 4 acts, 2 h.(2Sc) 6 4 
Town Marshal, 4 acts, 2J4 

hrs (25c) 6 3 

Trip to Storyland, 1 ^4 hrs. (25c) 17 23 

Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2ji hrs. (25c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

'hrs (25c) 7 10 

Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 
When the Circus Came to 

Town, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. (25c) 5 3 
Women Who Did, 1 hr. . . (25c) 17 

Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES, COfVIEDIETAS. Etc. 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Bad Job, 30 min 3 2 

Betsy Baker, 45 min 2 2 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 

Box and Cox, 35 min 2 1 

Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 
Convention of Papas, 25 min.. 7 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 tti. 3 2 



T.S.DENiSON&COMPANY,Publishers,154W. Randolph St., Chicago 



The Queen of Diamonds 



BY 

KATHARINE KAVANAUGH 

AUTHOR OF 

'Countess Kate," "The Man Who Came Back," "A Minister Pro 

Tern," "When the Worm Turned," "Who's a Coward?," 

"Under Blue Skies," Etc. 




CHICAGO 
T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS 

F535-ZI 

CHARACTERS. jq^'fc 

Governor Lloyd Owner of the Lascall Diamond 

Jules Durand A Special Officer 

James The Butler 

Jane Clemens A Noted Woman Detective 

Lucy St. Clair The Queen of Diamonds 



Place — Christmas Eve at the Home of Governor Lloyd, 
Just Before a Great Ball. 



Time — The Present. 



Time of Playing — Tiventy Minutes. 



Notice. — Production of this play is free to amateurs, but the sole 
professional rights are reserved by the Publishers. 



COPYRIGHT, 1915, BY BEEN H. NORRIS. 
2 



©CID 40164 

ytAK 24 I'JIb 



THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. 3 

STORY OF THE PLAY. 

Lucy St. Clair,, a notorious jewel thief, is known as "The 
Queen of Diamonds" because of her passion for stones of 
rare beauty and value. She is cleverness personified and has 
always been able to elude the best detectives. One of the 
humbler members of her gang is arrested, promised immu- 
nity for information regarding the Queen's plans and tells 
of a plot to enter the Governor's home during a great ball 
Christmas Eve to steal his world-famous jewel, the Lascall 
diamond. The Queen is to do the job alone. The chief of 
police sends Jane Clemens, a noted woman detective, in the 
hope that her woman's wit will excel that of the Queen, and 
informs the Governor of the plans, in order that he may 
receive her and offer any possible assistance. The Queen's 
betrayer, however, informs her of what is going to he done 
and on the night of the ball she cleverly disguises herself 
as Jane Clemens, wins the confidence of the Governor and 
learns where the diamond is kept. By the time Jane Clemens 
arrives the Queen has secured the gem. She binds the de- 
tective's hands, gags her and tells the Governor, who enters 
a moment later, that she has captured the Queen of Dia- 
monds and will hasten to notify the officer who is waiting 
outside. She then dons the other woman's cloak and exits. 
In a moment the officer enters, elated to think the Queen has 
been captured, but only to find that they have all been 
tricked, the diamond gone and in its place a card wishing 
all a Merry Christmas. 



PROPERTIES. 

A small gong for table. A bell to be used ofif stage. A 
small pistol for Lucy St. Clair. A photograph for Jane 
Clemens. • Visiting cards for Jane, Lucy and Durand. A 
small silver tray for the butkr. 



4 THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. 

CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. 

The Governor — A distinguished looking man, wears 
conventional evening- clothes. 

Jules Durand — A man between thirty and forty, alert 
and business-like in manner and speech. Uses few gestures 
and suggests the well-trained officer. He wears plain, neat 
clothes (not a uniform). 

The Butler — The regulation butler's uniform. Can be 
played by a man of any age. 

Jane Clemens — A woman between thirty and forty years, 
elegantly attired in evening gown, and on entrance wears 
a long, heavy cloak with large hood. 

Lucy St. Clair — A woman between thirty and forty 
years, elegant evening gown ; a handsome wrap on entrance. 



STAGE SETTING. 



Interior Drop 

Fancy Arch 



I T^^^I^ Door ' I > \ 

/ Chair U Bookcase \ 

Door Chair Door 

/Vnre-place ^halr D \ZZ\ \ 

U nChaIr Library Table \ 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage ; C, center ; R. C, right center ; 
L., left; 1 E., first entrance; U. E., upper entrance; R. 3 E., 
right entrance, up-stage, etc.; R. D., right door; L. D., left 
door, etc. ; D. F., door in flat of back of the stage ; up-stage, 
away from footlights, down-stage, near footlights ; 1 G., 
first groove, etc. The actor is supposed to be facing the 
audience. 



THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS 



Scene: A room in the home of Governor Lloyd, Christ- 
mas Eve, an hour or so before the guests arrive for a great 
fancy ball to be given by the Governor. 

The room is a handsome one, elegantly furnished. A cen- 
ter fancy entrance, showing vestibule in the rear, leading 
off R. A handsome mahogany hatrack stands in vestibule. 
There is a door R. U. E. and L. U. E. A handsome library 
table L. C. zvith brass inkstand and other zvriting materials, 
and one or two law books. A mahogany bookcase upstage 
left of center arch, filled zvith books, and zvith a handsome 
ornament or two on top. Large leather chair back of table, 
another chair R. of table, facimg audience. A pedestal or 
tzvo zvith ornaments to help dress the stage. A fireplace R. 
zvith easy chair before it. Everything must be of the best 
and snatch. A large library lamp suspended over or placed 
on table. The stage is well lighted throughout the act. 

As the curtain rises an electric bell in hack is ringing. - 

The Butler enters L. U. E., crosses and exits through 
center arch to the R., immedintely returning, follozved by 
Durand. The Butler carries a small silver tray on zvhich 
DuRAND places his card. 

Durand. Ask the Governor to spare me a few moments 
as soon as possible. The matter is urgent. 

The Butler. Yes, sir. (Exits L. U. E. zvith tray and 
card.) 

Durand (puts his hat on table). Now, if all goes well, 
the "Queen of Diamonds" will play her last card tonight. 
By George, I admire her nerve. The Governor's residence, 
of all places in the world. But, pshaw ! What am I talking 
about. The woman has more daring than any ten criminals 
Fve ever ran up against. 

S 



6 THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. 

Governor enters L. U. E., crosses to R., holding Du- 
rand's card. 

Governor. Mr. Durand. Have I the pleasure — 

DuRAND (interrupting) . I have never had the honor of 
meeting you before, Governor, but I come tonight on an 
important errand. Allow me. (Presents another card.) My 
professional card, which I did not care to intrust to your 
servant. 

Governor (glances at card in surprise). A detective. 
And may I ask — 

Durand. Pardon me again, sir, while I make my mission 
plain. You are giving a fancy ball tonight at which there 
will be upwards of a hundred guests. 

Governor. Yes, that has been pretty generally advertised 
in the papers. 

Durand. It has also been rather — may I say unadvisedly 
— made known that you have in your possession a diamond 
of extraordinary size and purity. 

Governor. The Lascall diamond. Yes, I am afraid it is 
only too well known that I possess that valuable stone. 

Durand. Let me ask you, sir, have you ever heard of 
-the Queen of Diamonds? 

Governor. Yes. When I was judge of the Criminal 
Court there was a case in which her name was often men- 
tioned, but in which she did not appear. 

Durand. My dear sir, she never appears — as herself. 
She is not only Queen of Diamonds — a title which she has 
gained through her cleverness in obtaining stones of great 
value — but she is also past mistress of subterfuge and dis- 
simulation. It might interest you to know that she will visit 
you tonight. 

Governor. What! She would venture here! 

Durand. My dear Governor, she would visit St. Peter 
himself if she in the least suspected that his keys were 
studded with rare stones. 

Governor. How came you by the information? 

Durand. An humble member of her gang was arrested 
today and he was promised immunity if he would tell any of 



THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. 7 

the Queen's plans. We had him on a rather serious charge 
and it looked like five or ten years for him. He had a wife 
and sick child with whom he was anxious to spend Christ- 
mas, and finally he told us of the afifair planned for tonight. 
The Queen is to do the job alone. None of us have ever 
seen her face to face, but we have an old photograph that 
would indicate that she is rather a handsome, well-dressed 
woman of apparent refinement. Once she gained an en- 
trance she would expect to mingle with the crowd at the ball 
unnoticed. 

Governor. That is possible. 

DuRAND. She has always succeeded in outwitting the men 
who were detailed to capture her, and when the chief learned 
of tonight's venture he immediately sent for a clever woman 
detective in the hope that her woman's wit would be equal 
to the Queen's. She will call before your guests arrive and 
present her professional card. The chief asks that you will 
receive her and lend her any assistance in your power. 

Governor. Most gladly. The chief is wise in setting a 
woman to catch a woman. We men are bunglers in com- 
parison. 

Durand. I shall accompany her to the house, but will 
remain on the outside until she needs me. (Taking his hat 
and going tozvard center entrance.) I thank you. Governor. 
Goodnight, sir, and a Merry Christmas. 

Governor. The same to you, sir. My regards to the 
Chief. (Durand exits through center arch, turning to R.) 

Enter the Butler. 

Governor. James, a lady will call shortly unaccompa- 
nied. Bring her card to me immediately. 

The Butler. Yes, sir. (Governor exits L. U. E. The 
Butler spends a moment in arranging the articles on the 
table, crosses and rakes the fire.) 

The electric hell rings hack of C. entrance. The Butler 
goes quickly to anszver it, returning immediately, followed 
by Lucy St. Clair, a handsome woman of thirty or over, 
elegantly gowned and zuearing an ez'ening zvrap. A fancy 
bag is suspended from her arm, out of zvhich she takes a 



8 THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. 

card and gives it to the Butler. The Butler glances at the 
card as it lies on the tray and exits L. U. E. The woman 
removes her wrap, throzving it over the hack of chair before 
the fire. She glances about the room in an interested zvay 
and then sits in chair before the fire. The fancy bag she 
keeps with her. 

The Governor enters L. U. E. The zvoman rises and 
faces him. 

Governor. Ah, Madame, Mr. Durand prepared me for 
your visit. I hope you will call on me for any assistance I 
can lend you. 

Lucy St. Clair. Thank you, Governor. I shall do so, 
but I don't anticipate any difficulty. You see, I knozv the 
Queen of Diamonds. 

Governor. Indeed. The Chief, then, is fortunate in se- 
curing your services, for, I understand, none of his men 
have ever seen her face to face. 

Lucy. Men! Tsh! Pardon me, but they ar^ stupid. 

Governor {smiling). Granted. Now, tell me, is there 
anything I can do for you? 

Lucy. Yes. Just one thing. Tell me where you keep the 
Lascall diamond. 

Governor. In the small cabinet in the other room. {In- 
dicates R. U. E.) 

Lucy. Thank you. That is all I need to know. I beg 
you to leave me to my own resources, sir. I shall send for 
you when necessary. 

Governor. I am at your service, madame. {Exits L. U. 
E. Lucy waits until Governor exits, then goes in an un- 
concerned manner up to L. U. E., glances through, then 
closes the door quietly. Turns and glances tozvard R. U. 
E., then crosses stage {not too hurriedly) and exits R. U.E.) 

The electric bell rings back of C. entrance. The Butler 
enters L. U. E., exits C. and returns, follozued by Jane 
Clemens, a handsome zvoman of thirty or forty, beauti- 
fully gozvned and zvearing a long, dark velvet cloak zvith a 
large hood that falls closely around her face. She carries 
a black velvet bag suspended from, her arm. On entering 



THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. 9 

she throws back her hood, takes from her hag a card zvhich 
she gives to the Butler. He glances at the card in amaze- 
ment and exits L. U. E. Jane Clemens removes her cloak 
and throivs it across back of chair right of center arch. She 
comes do-ivn L. C. and sits in chair right side of table. 
Opens her velvet bag and takes out a photograph zvhich she 
seems to study. 

Lucy enters quietly R. U. E, pauses in doorzuay and 
looks at Jane, zuho is unazvare of her presence. Lucy takes 
from, her bag a small silver-mounted pistol, comes very 
quietly dozvn in back of Jane's chair, levels the pistol at 
Jane. Her manner is zvithout the least suggestion of ex- 
citement. She is not melodramatic, but speaks in a quiet, 
modulated voice. 

Lucy {holding her left hand out for photograph). I'll 
trouble you for that, if you please. 

Jane Clemens {for the first time azvare of Lucy''s pres- 
ence, turns in surprise to find herself facing the pistol. She 
starts back in suprise). You? 

Lucy. The picture, please. (Jane giz'es her the photo. 
LtrcY puts photograph in her bag.) Thank you. Now, lend 
me your handkerchief. 

Jane. What for? 

Lucy. None of your business. Be quick. (Jane gives her 
the handkerchief.) Put your hands behind you — cross them 
— you know how. 

Jane. I — 

Lucy. Do as I tell you. (Jane puts her hands behind her. 
Lucy quickly ties them zvith her handkerchief. Then takes 
her ozvn handkerchief and folds it across her knee.) 

Jane {drazving azvay). What are you going to do? 

Lucy. Deprive you of speech for a few moments. 
{Quickly ties handkerchief over Janets mouth.) 

Enter the Governor, L. U. E., card in his hand. Speaks 
to Lucy. 

Governor. What does this mean? Twice this evening I 
have received the card of Miss Jane Clemens. Which of 
you is she? 



10 THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS. 

Lucy. Why, Governor, can't you see through it? The 
man who betrayed her this morning grew repentant and 
sent her word. With her customary daring she was de- 
termined to carry the affair through, only coming a little 
earlier than she was expected. 

Governor. She had your card. 

Lucy (smiles). Probably had some printed this morning 
— a simple matter. 

Governor. And so you have succeeded so promptly. I 
congratulate you. The diamond is safe. 

Lucy. My dear sir, she hasn't even seen it. 

Governor. You are a clever woman, Madame. What Is 
to be done now? 

Lucy. My work is finished. (Takes Jane's cloak and 
envelops herself in it.) I will send Durand to you. In the 
meantime I leave her in your charge. 

Governor. Mr. Durand will be delighted. 

Lucy (at C. arch). 1 have no doubt he will. Good even- 
ing, Governor. 

Governor (bowing). Good evening, Madame. (Lucy 
exits. Jane has been trying to contradict with motions of 
her head everything Lucy has been saying. As Lucy exits 
she sinks back in chair resignedly.) I regret, Madame, I 
cannot make you more comfortable, but Durand will be 
here in a moment. (Jane vigorously indicates that she 
zuants her hands untied.) I am sorry, but I can't. Being 
a thief entails some little discomfort at times. (Jane shakes 
her head in a negative manner.) You are not a thief? 
That's what they all say. 

Enter Durand, C, speaks excitedly as he enters. 

Durand. Miss Clemens passed me at the door, telling 
me she had succeeded. What luck ! What luck ! (He rushes 
down-stage R. and faces Jane — staggers back in amaze- 
ment.) Miss Clemens ! 

Governor. Miss Clemens has gone. This is the thief. 

Durand. The Queen of Diamonds has escaped. This is 
the detective. And the jewel? 

Governor. My God! I told her where I kept it. (He 



THE QUEEN OE DIAAiONDS. 11 

rushes through R. U. E. Durand unties Jane. The Gov- 
ernor rushes back — has visiting card in his hand.) The 
cabinet is open — the jewel is gone. She left her card in- 
stead. (Gives card to Durand.) 

Durand (reads). "Wishing you a Merry Christmas — 
The Queen of Diamonds." (Durand sinks helplessly into 
chair R. Miss Clemens falls back into chair at table. The 
Governor sinks into chair back of table.) 

Curtain. 



Denison^s Vaudeville Monologues 

Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid 

HEY, RUBEI — Monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 
15 minutes. Reuben Spinach, from Yapton, visits Cliicago for the 
first time. The way he tells of the sights and what befell him 
would make a sphinx laugh. 

KILLARNEY BLARNEY.— Irish monologue, by Harry L>. New- 
ton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Barney McGooggen's stories of 
himself and his friend Casey reach the apex of Irish wit. 

MARRIAGE AND AFTER.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton and 
A. S. Hoffman; 1 male. Time, about 10 minutes. A laugh every 
two seconds on a subject which appeals to all. Full of local hits. 

ME AND MY DOWN TRODDEN SEX.— Old maid monologue, by 
Harry L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 female. Time, 5 min- 
utes. Polly has lived long enough to gather a few facts about 
men which are told in the most laughable manner imaginable. 

MRS. CLANCY'S CONFESSION.— Monologue, by Harry L. New- 
ton; 1 female. Time, 10 minutes. Mrs. Clancy says: "Marriage 
is a great institution — for the blind, as it opens the eyes quicker 
than anytliing else in the world." 

MY FRItND FRITZ. — Dutch monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 
1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Hans Snitzer, a German but not from 
Milwaukee, has some funny experiences. His Turkish bath story 
will thaw out any audience. 

PETE YANSEN'S GURL'S MODER.— Swede monologue, by Char- 
ley Varley; 1 male. Time, 10 minutes. Yansen is "yust" from 
"Min-ap-lis" where they make good Swede "yokes." 

SI AND I. — Country girl monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 
female. Time, 15 minutes. Samantha Simpkins of Squashville and 
her beau. Si, visit Chicago. 

SILLY SAMMY'S SECRETS.— Country kid monologue, by Harry 
L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 10 minutes. A merry message of mirth 
sent direct from "down on the farm." 

A SUNNY SON OF ITALY.— Italian monologue by Harry L. 
Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Dis-a country no much-a 
good for Italian mans. German mans he make-a all de beer; 
Jew mans he make-a all de money; Irish mans he made-a all de 
politicians and hold-a all de soft-a snap jobs. What-a you know 
about dat, eh? 

A SWIFT PROPOSITION.— Monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 
male. Time, 15 minutes. There are various kinds of vehicles, but 
"A Swift Proposition" is one which will transport any audience 
into a realm of mirth. 

A TRAMP WITH A TRAMP. — Tramp monologue, by Harry L. 
Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Nifty Nick, a gentleman of 
leisure, who tramps along a highway of mirth, where each "hand 
out" is a bunch of laughs. 

THE TROUBLES OF ROZINSKI.— Jew monologue, by Harry L. 
Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Rozinski, 
a buttonhole maker, is forced to join the union and go on a 
"strike." He has troubles every minute that will tickle the ribs 
of both Labor and Capital. 

UNCLE BILL AT THE VAUDEVILLE.— Rube monologue, by 
Harry L. Newton; 1 male. Time, 15 minutes. Uncle Bill Bilkins, 
a wise old Rube, attends the continuous vaudeville and sees the 
"hull durn show." 

WOMEN'S WAYS. — Monologue, by Harry L. Newton; 1 male. 
Time, 15 minutes. There are two kinds of women of which men 
should beware, the married and the unmarried. Both have curi- 
ous ways, which are told in a most humorous manner. 

WORDS TO THE WISE. — Monologue, by Harry Newton; 1 male. 
Time, about 15 minutes. A typical vaudeville act, which is fat 
with funny lines and rich, rare liits. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 134 W. Randolph St., Chicago 



Denison's Vaudeville Sketches 

"A laugh is worth a h^mdred groans in any market.'" 
Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid 

BREAKFAST FOOD FOR TWO.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry 
L. Newton; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Scene: Simple 
interior. Seldom Sells, a drummer for bottled spring water and 
condensed milk, and Carrie Samples, a breakfast food demonstra- 
tor, meet in a small freight office during a snow blockade. Once 
they were friends, but strangers now; however, while appeasing 
their hunger with their samples a reconciliation is affected. This 
sketch is a decided novelty and one of 'the most choice morsels of 
humor ever served. 

THE CABMAN AND THE LADY.— Vaudeville sketch, adapted by 
William D. Emerson; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 30 minutes. Played 
a number of seasons with great success by "Emerson, Caffray and 
Emerson." It is a scream. 

A COLD FINISH. — Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 
males, 1 female. Time, 15 minutes. Scene: An interior. A 
cheeky life insurance agent forces himself into the home of a 
wealthy lady. Her attempt to get rid of him is side splitting. It 
has an unexpected finish which is always a great hit in vaude- 
ville. Really a two-part sketch, as the iceman has only a few 
lines. 

THE COUNTERFEIT BILLS.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L,. 
Newton; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. A long lost sailor 
returns and in explaining his absence to his wife, finds he has 
steered into rough weather. As a peace-offering he gives her a 
large "roll of bills" and she admits having a second husband 
named Bill; however both prove counterfeit. There is a dash of 
wit and a foam of humor in the Old Salt's tale of adventures 
that cannot fail to delight. 

DOINGS OF A DUDE. — ^Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L,. Newton; 
2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Scene: Simple interior. 
Maizy von Billion, of athletic tendencies, is expecting a boxing 
instructor and has procured Bloody Mike, a prize fighter, to "try 
him out." Percy Montmorency, her sister's ping pong teacher, is 
mistaken for the boxing instructor and has a "trying out" that 
is a surprise. A whirlwind of fun and action. 

FRESH TIMOTHY HAY. — Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. New- 
ton; 2 males, 1 female. Time. 20 minutes. Scene: Simple rural 
exterior. By terms of a will, Rose Lark must marry Reed Bird or 
forfeit a legacy. Rose and Reed have never met and when he 
arrives Timothy Hay, a fresh farm hand, mistakes him for Pmk 
Eye Pete, a notorious thief. Ludicrous lines and rapid action. 
Chance for songs and specialties if desired. 

"We presented 'Fresh Timothy Hay' with great success. — 
Frank S. Wildt, Lancaster, Pa. 

GLICKMAN, THE GLAZIER.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. 
Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 25 minutes. 
Scene: Simple interior. Charlotte Russe, an actress, is scored 
by a dramatic paper. With "blood in her eye" she seeks the 
critic at the office, finds no one in and smashes a window. Jacob 
Glickman, a Hebrew glazier, rushes in and is mistaken for the 
critic. Fun, jokes, gags and action follow with lightning rapidity. 
A great Jew part. 

"Under the team name of Herbert and Elliott we are making a 
big hit with 'Glickman, the Glazier.' Your 'stuff' is the best ever. 
— C. W. Herbert, Spokane, Wash. 
T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 134 W. Randolph St.. Chicago 



Denison's Vaudeville Sketches 

"A laugh is worth a hundred groatts in any market.^' 
Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid 

THE GODDESS OF LOVE.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. 
Newton; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 15 minutes. Scene: Simple ex- 
terior. Aphrodite, a Greek Goddess, is a statue in the park. Ac- 
cording to tradition, a gold ring placed upon her finger will bring 
her to life. Knott Jones, a tramp, who had slept in the park 
all night, brings her to life. A rare combination of the beautiful 
and the best of comedy. Novel, easy to produce and a great hit. 

HER HERO. — Vaudeville sketch, by George Totten Smith; 1 male, 
1 female. Time, 20 minutes. To test her lover's courage, a young 
lady pretends she hears a burglar in an adjoining room and in- 
sists that he shall investigate. He meets with a surprise which 
is far from what the jesting maiden had anticipated. Rich com- 
edy and rapid action. 

"Used 'Her Hero' with great success for six successive weeks." 
— Herman Nelms, Nashville, Tenn. 

A HOME RUN. — ^Vaudeville sketch, by Harry W. Osborne; 

1 male, 1 female. Time, 15 minutes. A bit of baseball non»- 

sense introduced into a novel situation. "Inshoots" of wit, 

■ "out-curves" of mirth and "drop-balls" of hilarity are put over 

the "plate" in rapid succession. 

HOT AIR. — ^Vaudeville sketch, by George Totten Smith; 2 
males, 1 female. Time, 25 minutes. Briggs and his chum after 
a night out. Brigg's wife after an explanation. She finds their 
lovely "fairy tale" simply "hot air" and they find themselves in 
"hot water." Their ingenuity in extricating themselves from 
the humid situation is most amusing. 

IS IT RAINING? — ^Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton 
and A. S. Hoffman; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 10 minutes. Otto 
Swimorebeer, a .German, Susan Fairweather, a friend of his. This 
act runs riot with fun, gags, absurdities and comical lines. 

"I have had expensive sketches, but your's beat them all." — 
Gust Muech, Milwaukee, Wis. 

A MISTAKEN M IBS.— Vaudeville sketch, by George Totten 
Smith; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. The maiden expects 
to meet a very sedate young man, which part he impersonates, 
although he is quite the opposite. He also makes up as an Irish- 
man. However, the mistake was not amiss for the mistaken 
miss, as he proves to be her willing ideal. Strong plot, plenty 
of "laughs" with opportunity for good acting. 

MR. AND MRS. FIDO.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 
1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Mrs. Pido's husband and 
her dog Bruno are sick. Johnson, a dog doctor, who is just over 
from Sweden, is mistaken for Mr. Fido's physician, and com- 
plications arise that create more disturbance than a mustard plas- 
ter on a small boy. A great Swede part. 

"We are now playing 'Mr. and Mrs. Fido' to crowded houses. 
Big hit." — The Elliotts, Clay Center, Kan. 

ONE SWEETHEART FOR TWO.— Vaudeville sketch, by Harry 
L. Newton; 2 females. Time, 20 minutes. It is not recorded in 
the book of Time when one sweetheart was sufficient for two 
ambitious maidens. The dialogue and action in this sketch are as 
magnetic as the breeze from an electric fan. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 134 W. Randolph St., Chicago 



Denison's Vaudeville Sketches 

"A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market. '' 
Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid 

O'TOOLE'S BATTLE OF ANTE-UP.— Vaudevillp sketch, by 
Harry L. Newton; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Gil- 
hooley wishes O' Toole to marry his daughter. To capture her 
heart they invent a story of how O'Toole saved her father's life 
in the battle of Ante-up. She puts to rout the scheming old 
rascals and marries Timmy, her true Irish boy. It is a fusillade 
of Irish wit and repartee. 

THE POOH BAH OF PEACETOWN.— Vaudeville sketch, by 
Harry L. Newton; 2 males, 2 females. Time, 35 minutes. Joshua 
is Justice of the Peace, Mayor, Insurance Agent, Attorney, Ex- 
press Agent and Postmaster of a small village. Contains a quaint 
sermon on the "divorce question." It is a decided novelty, with 
an atmosphere of humor that will warm and delight the coldest 

THE TIME TABLE.— Vaudeville sketch, by George Totten 
Smith; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. Mr. and Mrs. Jangle 
have missed the train. The naturalness of their ill-tempered 
cross-fire will make one feel that he has intruded upon the pri- 
vacy of a family jar and that he should suppress his mirth in fear 
of being noticed and accused of eavesdropping. 

THE TRAMP AND THE ACTRESS.— Vaudeville sketch, by 
Charles Ulrich; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. An actress, 
home on a vacation, is surprised by a tramp who attempts to 
rob the house. She simulates madness and thwarts his object. 
A dramatic incident abounding with comedy. 

WIVES WANTED IN SQUASH VI LLE.— Vaudeville sketch, by 
O. E. Young; 3 males. Time, 30 minutes. Arthur Alger, a city 
chap out hunting, kills Benjamin Butterby's ox. To escape the 
infuriated rustic, he runs into Solomon Simple's house and fiastily 
dons woman's dress. In. this absurd disguise he finally escapes 
from the two love-sick old rubes, Solomon and Benjamin, who 
are the typical stage "b'gosh farmers." Mr. Young's plays are 
all full of ginger and go. 

Who's a Coward 

By KATHARINE KAVANAUGH. 

Price, 25 Cents. 

Comedy; 2 males, 1 female. Time, 20 minutes. A young wife 
accuses her husband of being a coward and to prove her pomt 
arranges with a friend to plav burglar and break into their home. 
The husband, to vindicate himself, makes a similar arrangement 
with one of his chums. A real thief appears, and both thinkmg 
him to be their friend disguised, aid him in escaping with then- 
valuables. Dippy Hogan, the crook, is a scream and will rob any 
audience of its gloom. 

Countess Kate 

By KATHARINE KAVANAUGH. 

Price, 25 Cents. 

A playlet; 3 males, 1 female. Time, 25 minutes. Two college 
chaps assist Countess Kate, a noted jewel thief, to escape from 
the police. She convinces them that the detective, who has her 
cornered, is her husban*d who has suddenly become msane, and 
after she gets awav they are convinced that they have been two 
genuine "boobs." This beautiful and clever lady "Raffles ' has an 
irresistible charrn. Dramatic, humorous and lively. Played a suc- 
cessful season in vaudeville. 
T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 134 W. Randolph St., Chicago 




Denison's Vaudeville Sketches 

For Male Characters 

Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid 

THE COMING CHAMPION.— Colored sketch 
with a burlesque boxing bout, by Harry L. New- 
ton. 2 males. Scene: A restaurant. A black 
waiter and a mulatto fight promoter. A twenty 
minute "go" in which humor wins in a cyclone 
finish. 

A DUTCH COCKTAIL.— Vaudeville talking 
act, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 20 
minutes. Wienerwurst and Schmerekaze con- 
coct a Dutch mixture that will tickle the most 
exacting and fun-craving palate. 

FIVE MINUTES FROM YELL COLLEGE.— Dutch, rapid-fire 
talking act, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. 
Jack Schmaltz, who got the learning, and his uncle, who paid 
for it. A ludicrous investigation into the value of higher edu- 
cation. 

FOR REFORM. — Political satire for a singing quartette, by Harry 
L. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. The boss, the ward 
heeler, the reform candidate and the office boy. The wheels of 
this political machine are lubricated with real humor. 

THE LITTLE RED SCHOOL HOUSE.— A burlesque sketch on 
education for a singing quartette, by Harry L. Newton; 4 males. 
Time, 20 minutes. Heine Picklebrodt, the German teacher. John- 
nie Redd, the bad boy. Willie Green, the nice boy. Ikey Gold- 
silver, the Hebrew boy. A school where scholars and mirth run 
rampage, heeding not the teacher's rules. Any number of songs 
can be introduced. 

OSHKOSH NEXT WEEK.— A sketch for a singing quartette, by 
Harry L. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. Three hungry 
young actors without money waiting for next week's engagement 
and an ingenious bell boy, who injects enough action and humor 
into the situation, to keep their thoughts from dwelling long on 
home and ham and eggs well done. Any number of songs can 
be introduced. 

AN OYSTER STEW.— A rapid-fire talking act, by Harry L. 
Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 2 males. Time, 10 minutes. Dick 
Tell, a knowing chap. Tom Askit, not so wise. This act is filled 
to overflowing with lightning cross-fires, pointed puns and hot 
retorts. 

PICKLES FOR TWO. — Dutch rapid-fire talking act, by Harry 
L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 2 males. Time, 15 rrinutes. Hans, 
a German mixer. Gus, another one. Unique ludicrous Dutch 
dialect, interspersed with rib-starting witticisms. 

THE RECRUITING OFFICE.— Vaudeville talking act, by Harry 
Li. Newton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Irish comedians, "rough 
and straight." A laughing novelty with just enough plot to make 
the hinges work smoothly. 

A SPECIAL SALE.— Jew sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. 
Time, 15 minutes. Anson, a pawnbroker, sells Solomon a coat at 
a reduction. Save up your laughter for this sale. 

TWO JAY DETECTIVES.— A rural riot of comedy, by Harry L. 
Newton; 3 males. Time, 15 minutes. Two correspondence school 
detectives, a busy landlord, ludicrous clues and humorous deduc- 
tions. The shadowing and the investigations of these Reubens un- 
cover some real mirth. 

THE UMBRELLA MENDER.— Vaudeville act. by Harry L. New- 
ton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Beginning with a shower and 
ending in a downpour of Jew jokes and Irish gags. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. 154 W. Randolph St.. Chicago 



J 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 



Documentary Evidence, 25 min. 1 1 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 rain.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, IS min. . 5 
Fun in a Photograph Gallery, 

30 min . . 6 10 

Great Doughnut Corporation, 

30 min 3 5 

Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

Happy Pair, 25 min 1 1 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Carver's Fancy Ball, 40 m. 4 3 
Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agen<-, '0 

min 3 2 . 

My Lord in Livery, 1 hr.... 4 3 

My Neighbor's Wife, 45 min.. 3 3 

My Turn Next, 45 min 4 3 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Obstinate Family, 40 min 3 3 

Only Cold Tea, 20 min 3 3 

Outwitting the Colonel, 25 min. 3 2 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min. • . , 6 4 

Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 3 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith, the Aviator, 40 min... 2 3 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3, 2' 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Treasure from Egypt, 45 min. 4 1 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 

Two Bonnycastles, 45 min.... 3 3 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Which Will He Marry? 20 min. 2 8 

Who Is Who? 40 min 3 2 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wroftg Baby, 25 min S 

Yankee Peddler, 1 hr.- 7 3 



VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, IMON- 
OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

M. F. 

Ax'in' Her Father, > 25 min.... 2 3 
Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 1 
Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.l4 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

Five Minutes from Yell Col- 
lege, 15 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min ..21 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 
Handy Andy (Negro), 12 min. 2 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! IS min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 1 

Hot Air, 25 min 2 1 

Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
Mischievous Nigger, 25 min.. 4 2 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. Badger's Uppers, 40 min. 4 2 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 ra. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min.. 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl'sModer, 10 

min 1 

Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 

Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 

Recruiting Office, 15 ijiin 2 

Sham Doctor, 10 min^ 4 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Stage Strucjc Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski,- 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min,. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 
Uncle Bill at the Vaudeville, 

15 min 1 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 

Who Gits de Reward? 30 min. 5 1 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed in 

Denison's Catalogue 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers,154 W. Randolph St. , Chicago 



PO P U LA R E N TE RTAI f LiBRftRv of con^^^^^^ 



Price, Illustrated Paper Cove 




IN this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 

blALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dialoguos. 

Over 50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Brand new," original, successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
Th6 Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues , for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 
Monologues Grave and Gay. 

Dramatic and humorous. 
The Patriotic Speaker. 

Master thoughts of master minds. 




The I 

F 
Pome 

\^ 
Scrap 

Choice" collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, prose, 
poetry. 14 Nos., per No. 25c. 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Private Theatricals. 

How to put on plays. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Vuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

Black American Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland, via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourist's. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester, 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Large illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers,154 W.Randolph St., Chicago 



